Cutting
Loose
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Introduction
THE AMERICAN
DREAM IS DEAD!
LONG LIVE YOUR PERSONAL DREAM!
Real
dreams don't require you to abandon your family, quit your job, and move to Tahiti with
your paintbrush. They just require that you search your soul for that deep dream you put
aside and go for it. And watch your life light up.
--Barbara Sher
Dear Reader,
A new
lifestyle trend is emerging. Increasingly people are quitting unsatisfying situations, places and
unfulfilling jobs—jobs from which they might get downsized at any time. They are
defining their own personal dreams by getting in touch with their passions, their deep
interest and how they really want to live. Then they are willingly taking risks to bring
those dreams into reality!
The
individuals that I interviewed for this book from all over the world—ordinary people
like you and me—opted to do something decisive about their lives, rather than continue
to put up with unsatisfying jobs, places, relationships and the harried, commuter
treadmill rat race.
The old
American Dream—that the next generation can have it better and that by hard work we can
enjoy the fruits of an ever-rising standard of living along the road to secure retirement—is dead. Globalization, greedy CEO's, pandemic downsizings, takebacks and the frozen, if not declining real income
during the past 20 years have killed that dream.
People
are choosing to do what they really can get enthusiastic about, even if it involves risk.
If you were one of the 55* million Americans who was downsized out of your job since 1979, or if you are one of the 9 million who is currently unemployed or underemployed, then you know from personal experience that there is no such thing as job security anymore.
Why shouldn't I go for my dream, do what I want and take risks? is how
one woman justified her lifestyle change. Life is too short to be hanging onto
a frustrating, stifling job, waiting to be downsized!
So if
your life isn't all you would like it to be, or you are just looking for a good read, come
with me on a series of adventures—to explore fascinating lifestyles all over the world
and get to know people who are leading the kinds of lives you might enjoy.
Our
initial stopover is St. Lucia, one of my favorite Caribbean islands. There are a bunch of
people I'd like you to meet.
The
first person I would like you to know is Jeff, who was groomed for a vice-presidency at
American Express. He is now teaching sailing at less than a third of his former salary and
couldn't be happier (Profile 1). A few doors down from Jeff lives Cheryl, a former
comptroller who turned her back on the corporate world for a life in the tropics. You will
meet her on page 102, Profile 11.
Wouldn't it be great to fall in love with your dream person and then cruise the Caribbean
or even sail around the world? That's precisely what happened to Sally (Profile 2), whom I
interviewed on her boat.
Would
you like to take your children away from our toxic urban environment and instill in them
the right set of values and habits? Then you have to meet Paul and Linda (Profile 3), on
whose boat I crewed all the way to Grenada. Along the way, at Tobago Cays, I met Scott and
Donna (Profile 5) who were just returning from a seven-year, around-the-world sail with
their two small children.
But
before we leave St. Lucia I want to take you to Rodney Bay, where John G. (Profile 4), a
former warrior turned entrepreneur, is ensconced in his three-level condo overlooking a
pier where his yacht is moored.
If
traveling around the world on land is your preferred mode, then you must get to know Doug
and Karen (Profile 7), who took off for an extended period to see the world up close, and
reassess.
Or are
you a DINK (Dual Income, No Kids) for whom life has grown a bit stale? Then you must meet
Roger and Nicky (Profile 8), who sold their thriving computer business, reconditioned an
old ketch and have been cruising the Mediterranean and Caribbean since. In the
Mediterranean they got a big surprise.
What is
your secret dream? Fancy sailing the Atlantic single-handedly on a 22-foot sloop? That's
what Pascal did. And he asked me to tell you that it wasn't such big a deal, and that you
could do it as well. In fact he is describing how you could pull off something comparable,
in a book he is writing on his adventure, which I have previewed for you (Profile 6).
Speaking about writing, have you ever thought of bagging your present job and writing the
great American novel? Bill, a successful U.S. Attorney, quit his job to write a novel -
even though he never had anything published before! And his gamble paid off (Profile 9).
Ever
wondered what it would be like to be a perpetual traveler? Go all over the world and live
in places that fascinate you, while doing what you enjoy. Mark is roaming the Earth with
one suitcase and no home base ( Profile 10).
Are you
harboring secret fantasies that you may never have dared to share with anyone, such as
joining a Zen monastery, a Trappist abbey or a commune? Come and experience them with me.
I've lived at all three and I'll tell you all about it in Part II.
Or do
you think that the Peace Corps might be more your cup of tea? In that case, let's pick up
on our Caribbean island hopping and disembark in Grenada. I want you to get acquainted
with Sandy (Profile 12), a former consultant who escaped to the Peace Corps after his
marriage broke up.
You'll
find many other intriguing profiles here. But by now it probably has become clear that
this book is not just entertainment: it can open you up to new possibilities.
It has
been said that since we only go around once, we'd better live our dreams, follow our
bliss. But they fail to distinguish between real dreams and escapist fantasies. Living our
real dreams is about reconnecting with our authentic selves that might have been buried
under an avalanche of our parents' and other people's expectations. It means unleashing
our passions and deep interests and crafting our distinct, individual lifestyle around
them.
Cutting
Loose, then, is not about people who took off on a whim to indulge in their escapist
fantasies. Most, finding their lives seriously wanting, did considerable soul searching as
to what they want to do and how they preferred to live. Then they proceeded to plan and
make the necessary preparations before embarking on their new lifestyles.
But as
author Barbara Sher points out, "Real
dreams don't require you to abandon your family, quit your job, and move to Tahiti with
your paintbrush. They just require that you search your soul for that deep dream you put
aside and go for it. And watch your life light up."
But
dream lifestyles, like everything else in life, aren't meant to be forever. Most of the
people here, after achieving and savoring their dreams for various lengths of time, were
ready to move on to their next challenge, their next dream lifestyle.
I am
dedicating this book to these individuals I interviewed, who shared their hearts and souls
-- the most intimate details of their lives -- so that you and I could profit from their
courage and examples.
Your
state of mind when you wake up in the morning is a good barometer of your life. Do you get
out of bed eager to take on the world? Are there things that you just can't wait to get
at? Or do you have to drag yourself out of bed most mornings? Traveling around the world
researching and writing this book has got me out of bed early and enthusiastically.
One
suggestion. If your life is not all you would like it to be and you are looking for more
than just entertainment, read this book actively, pen in hand. Turn Cutting Loose into
your own, interactive workbook. Put yourself in the shoes of the people profiled here and
write down in the margins your detailed reactions and what you would do if you were in
their situations. By the time you get to the end of the book, you may be primed to do
something decisive about your own life.
If you
have a partner, take turns reading each individual profile, jotting down your precise
comments with different color pens. And then immediately, while the specific profile is
still fresh in your minds, discuss it in depth.
When I
was in the middle of writing this book, somebody asked me what it was about. A minute into
my description, I noticed her eyes glazing over. She is a single parent who had been
downsized and was on the verge of becoming homeless, until a few months ago when she got
"this lousy job." She now identifies herself with the guy in the apocryphal
story who was up to his armpits in a swamp fighting alligators and didn't want to be
reminded that he should have drained the swamp. Since she was barely surviving, talking
about dream lives didn't seem relevant.
But
that was just it. Unless she finds a dream to hitch her life to, that gives her hope,
direction and motivation for walking out of her personal swamp, she is likely to be fighting
alligators for the rest of her life!
Someone
else who saw the draft of this book commented that it seemed a bit heavy on the tropics,
sailing and scuba diving. There are a number of reasons for that.
During
my research, when I asked people about their ideal places where they would like to live,
most expressed strong preference for the tropics or locations having at least a mild,
year-round climate. In fact many of them echoed the sentiments of the person who told me,
"I want to live in a place where I can wear a bathing suit the year round without
feeling out of place.
As to
sailing, if you have ever been on a sailboat during a stiff breeze when your boat is
humming along in perfect harmony with the elements, you get an inkling of why sailing has
such a universal appeal. But ocean sailing is much more than that.
It
challenges you to the limit by pitting you and your boat against the vast ocean. You are
in charge of all that you survey. You have no one else to depend on but yourself, should
anything go wrong. The unpredictable is mixed with the spirit of adventure. Venturing to
exotic places, meeting unusual people, learning about strange customs and unique cultures.
It is escaping the crowded, noisy urban environment and finding time for solitude to
contemplate what life is all about.
Scuba
diving throws you into an entirely different realm. As you glide effortlessly in a
near-weightless state among dazzling fish, stunning plants and magnificent coral
formations you realize that this may be as close to heaven as you'll ever get in this
life.
But
sailing and scuba diving in the tropics are not for everyone. You will get to know many
other people in Cutting Loose who have realized their dreams in other domains and are
getting their flow experience in entirely different ways.
Looking
at the broader perspective, marriage, family, job/career, and ultimately a financially
secure retirement used to be the foundations we could build our lives on. With half the
marriages breaking up, and downsizings and takebacks becoming a permanent part of our
economic landscape, these foundations have crumbled. This book offers you a more solid
base upon which to build your life: discovering your passions and what your real dream is
and committing yourself to bringing it into reality.
Were
you, by chance, one of the millions Americans whose job was eliminated? If not, are you afraid that it eventually might happen to you? Or are you
graduating from school, are you in the midst of a mid-life crisis, contemplating divorce,
about to retire or are in any other period of transition? Before doing anything else,
read Cutting Loose actively.
Why go
for another uncertain job, ordinary lifestyle and continue with the rat race? Why not,
with the aid of this book, take the time to examine what you really like to do, what gives
you flow experience, and where and how you really like to live. The many, varied profiles
presented here could be just the catalyst to spark your imagination and get you moving in
the right direction. This is your opportunity to enrich and upgrade your life.
So if
you are reading this collection of lifestyle adventures for entertainment, have fun! But
if you are also perusing it with the idea of enriching your life, finding your own dream
or escaping your personal swamp, good luck!
Copyright © 2010 Al Louis Ripskis
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